Recurring Angst

So, more with the "what should I be when I grow up" angst. Sick of it yet? Yeah, me too.

Who but me would read a "Budget Analyst" position reporting directly to a Treasurer/VP and think, "I can't apply for that, it's not serious enough, it's just fun."?

Enjoying my copy of "Find Your Own North Star."

Back to Cali

Well, not quite yet. I have another hour plus to hang out on campus and enjoy myself. So I'm spending it sitting in this classroom blogging. Hmmm. Well, I at least wanted to sign out. We had dinner with some retired professors last night, which was great. I'm feeling excited for how the Alumni Admissions Program should go this year. So what if I apply for this job in the Carleton Treasurer's office? Hm...

Hanging Out with the Contented Cows

So far so good with the Carleton volunteer weekend. Northfield continues to feel charming, small, and colder than I feel is fair. I actually managed to haul my bootie to the amazing, beautiful rec center today and spend half an hour on one of the aerobic machines. I can safely say that our rec center is nicer than Pomona's. For now. I also felt woefully out of place with grey hair and a purse. Okay, my grey hair is hidden under dye and there was an emeritus professor there. But the purse stood out. Off to a reception with the president next. I tried to be funny this morning when I saw him, so we'll see if I irked him by mistake. I'm a bit Chandler like that.

Cold but happy!

Northfield in May

It's cold. I'm at Carleton for the weekend for more of my volunteer stuff. And it's cold. Okay, yes, I'm the jerk who ran around California for four years saying, "If you can breathe, it ain't cold." And in a sense that is true. But seriously, a five minute walk on May second should not leave my knuckles stiff and my ears numb.

So now I'm sitting in the Goodbye Blue Monday coffee house - ah, Blue Monday. I've got my laptop on a sticky, yellow, Formica table, which is painfully retro in its coolness. The music is downbeat and inaccessible and I'm not quite apathetic enough to really occupy this space in any other than a sarcastic manner. Plus I need to go to the bathroom but I don't want to either leave my laptop unsupervised nor pack it all up for a four minute sojourn. So I'll have to make this a quick post.

I feel nostalgic and sad and very loving towards the campus and yet very trapped by it all at once. I remember being seriously bummed by cold weather in May, and yet thinking about snow this afternoon I felt almost homesick. I feel at a huge crossroads with lots of options down very unknown paths - mostly career-wise, but also in terms of what city Matt and I should really lay down roots in. Just when I thought I had made my peace with being in So Cal for the foreseeable future, my tremendous capacity for indecision rears its ugly head again. I finally told Matt that with anything more important than dinner or weekend plans he should wait to hear the same answer out of my mouth four consecutive times at least a day apart each before he believes me. I mean, ask him what my current top priority redecorating purchase is. Go ahead. Poor guy. The good news is I almost never act impulsively on anything more momentous than shoes.

So you can see how I ended up in dire need of this cup of hot cocoa I just slurped down. I always find myself drinking the cocoa faster than I meant to in an attempt to get the whipped cream before it melts. Didn't think to get a spoon until I was half done with the cup.

Sign

You know you're a finance geek when you see a Better Business Bureau sign on a business and think, "wow, only one grade shy of junk bond status."

Business Idea

I think we should start a travel company which focuses on eating and then working off the calories. So like, huge awesome local pancake genius breakfast, bike ride past the river, fancy lunch, nap, yoga class, jog around downtown, huge dinner, moonlit stroll, epsom salts bath, bed, as a typical day's plan. I would SO take that trip.

Kickboxing! RRRROWR!

I went to kickboxing class last night. It was awesome! I mean this quite literally - I am in awe that I neither injured myself nor barfed. Our instructor, Attilla, is aptly named. He is a Hungarian immigrant, and seems as broad as he is tall. This is an exaggeration but anyway. Interesting to note - all these kickboxing instructors and even competitive boxers at my gym have these total teddy bear personalities. Perhaps it's because they can afford to? "I know you aren't going to mess with me, so I don't have to put on a grumpy front." Or something.

Anyway, this is fabulous exercise. It's challenging enough coordination-wise that I am distracted from the fact that I'm working really hard and sweating a lot. I have also recently discovered the joy of the epsom salt bath.